Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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