What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
