when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
