awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
