If i come over, it means nothing
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
