We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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