i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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