Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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