just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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