There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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