Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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