Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
