That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
