whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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