i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
