Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
