That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
