I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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