one two three fourrrrnication!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
