Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
