It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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