Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize