Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's the barista slut.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
