Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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