Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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