she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
