Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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