I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
