considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
