kristin has been a bad kristin
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize