Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
