We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
