I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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