we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
