Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
