I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I want a musical about memes.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize