her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
