problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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