My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A bitchslap is in order.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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