now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
