He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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