Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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