I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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