Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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