I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
