dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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