i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I need moral support for this bender
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
