brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
