Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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