absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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