Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
