she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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