Say something about gay babies.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
