laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
