Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
