According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
