Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
