D3 body, D1 cock
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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