I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize