Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
