it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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