Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
