Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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